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Messed up conversations this week

I was giggling ALL WEEK LONG.  People are so damned funny, I love it.  

One child decided to randomly inform me that her grandpa "drinks a little alcohol".   You bet I took great joy in sharing the knowledge when her teacher came back into the room.  "Hey, tell Ms. Susie about your grandpa..."  "He drinks a little alcohol!"  :D  Sometimes I love my job.

Then, I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to get some new knives and a very cool Kapoosh holder. (I hate wooden knife slots, I really do.)  I go to a cashier in order to check out, and he apparently gets suspicious when someone is purchasing cutlery, because he felt the need to find out what I was going to be doing with three blister packs of knives.

Cashier- Will you need a gift receipt with this?

Me- No

Cashier- Well, is this on a gift registry?

Me- (a little taken aback) No.  It's for me.

Cashier- You sure do like knives.  

Me- (internally amused/appalled but discarding the temptation to get creepy on the nosy parker in case he is creepier than my imagination)  Yes, getting rid of the old ones, getting new ones.  

Then I giggled all the way back to work and told this to everyone I saw.  And whenever someone gets sassy with me, I'll remind them that I 'sure do like knives'.  

There have been SO many other conversations that just take too much backstory to appreciate, but I want every week to be this amusing.  


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 17th, 2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
I do not believe that her mother would tolerate such a thing. I believe that no one ever sleeps on their couch, or makes messes or uses improper grammar. Which makes that comment even funnier! :D

LOL, a "wall O' cutlery". I can just visualize that. I don't know how he lives, but I only got four steak knives, chef knife, bread knife, boning knife and a paring knife- just a few of the basics. I'm moving and getting rid of my ghetto discount knife set and that aggravating wooden knife block. Not sure why it irritates me so much, but it does.

I think it's hysterical that someone from a home goods store thinks I'm some sort of Sweeney Todd, though. I must look homicidal in my preschool tee shirt.
Mar. 17th, 2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
I must look homicidal in my preschool tee shirt.

Given how you look sometimes at the end of the day -- with red paint on your shirt and that "if one more kid whines my name one more time..." look in your eye...

I'd believe it. :D
Mar. 17th, 2012 05:49 pm (UTC)
True dat! Ms. Tami needs to drink a little alcohol... And just call me Ms. Gorgeous.
Mar. 17th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
I once was dressed down by an automatic check out machine at Tesco. I was buying lunch plus a pair of household scissors.

Turns out, (household) scissors are on the list of items only to be sold to people over 18. So I had to take my NC-17 purchase to a cashier manned by a real human and show my face...
Mar. 17th, 2012 06:24 pm (UTC)
I always knew you were a little shady... buying dangerous scissors and everything...

Bet you ran with them too, you saucy minx! ;D
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 17th, 2012 10:18 pm (UTC)
I guess scissors could be used as a weapon. But so could be stiletto high heels. *rolls eyes* Might be because the weapons of choice in the UK are knives, guns are very hard to come by.

Ha! In Germany you would be hard-pressed to find an open shop on a Sunday that´s not in a train station or an airport - but those would indeed sell tights on any weekday ;)
Mar. 17th, 2012 11:04 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure what would be worse, to be shot or stabbed. I think I'll take a pass on either.

You could cut some vicious snowflakes with scissors. Or, ah, trim someone's hair... viciously.
Mar. 18th, 2012 11:37 am (UTC)
At least a knife is not a long-range weapon, other than that, I´d prefer never to experience either.

It would be downright cruel to have me cut somebody´s hair.

As far as I remember I had been planning to use those scissors for opening clearly suspicious milk and juice cartons.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 18th, 2012 11:24 am (UTC)
Aaah, who knows what I could have caused by attempting to purchase cutlery!
Mar. 17th, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC)
Wow. Was that a REALLY small town in Texas? Because what if you got a run in your hose right before church? Wouldn't you want to look respectable when you go to the house of the lord?

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )



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